while i atill am not really sleeping, despite a serious intensification of my sleepytime meds, i have to say that things are looking up - i had a "normal" morning, if you can call it that, since i haven't had a normal morning since the last time i was jet lagged, but at least feeling reasonable, not overly keyed-up for no good reason, nor like my belly was going to explode at any minute. i am just going to have to get used to napping in twnety minute spurts whenever my body decides its time, and to ignore the hot flashes and agitation that comes with a totally mixed up endocrine system. it was nice to be able to just smile, and be easy, and relax, if only for an hour. my guts have decided that it is time to kick up some more dust, and thus i am writing, a way to distract and dissipate some of the errant energy fluttering around.
i am jumping through hoops in order to find some psychological services, which is really ridiculous in a situation like this. doesn't it seem like this kind of thing would just appear on my doorstep, all taken care of? if there's one thing sick people shouldn't have to deal with, it is making sure that they dont drive themselves crazy.
15 comments:
Josh, i try to read you...It is a long time that i don't speak english. But i know what is your pain by Jean-Paul. I 'll pray for you for hope and i"answer another day. I kiss you and your parents and Amélie . Solange.
Josh, i don't know what to say other than i'm so sorry and i'm thinking of you and amelie. neil and i will come by tomorrow with a thanksgiving feast and we both want you to know that we're here for you if you need anything... good food or perhaps some artsy materials?
Josh, Thank you for setting this up because you've on my mind all the time but I don't want to hassle you too much by wanting to know how you are and remind you that you are very loved. It sounds like you have people who are doing a good job of reminding you of that but wanted you to know from me too. I can't even imagine what all of this has been like... both a blessing and a curse to be a medical student in the midst of this, I think. You're in my prayers (because they can't hurt, right?!) Will you post or email your address? All my love, Meagan.
Hiya Josh, Heidi sent me the link to your blog and after reading it and seeing the pictures I wanted you to know that in my 60s way, I am sending good vibes to you from here in Florida. Peace and love to you. Karen
Darling,
It's your old flatmate, Caroline. Georg told that you're a little under the weather. Or quite a lot under the weather, so it seems from your blog.
I'm sure you're sick to the back teeth of tea and sympathy. I was toying with the idea of posting something incredibly rude or Pythonesque to distract you. I'll settle for saying that I miss you, my thoughts are with you and your family and that nobody expects the Spanish inquisition.
Ta ta
Je suis contente de pourvoir te suivre grâce à ton blog. Je pense très fort à toi. Bon courage!
Clara
de Marie à bagneres: cher Josh,J.Paul m' appris ce qu'il t'arrivait et je voulais te dire que je pense très fort à toi dans ce momentpenible et souhaite que tu te battes comme un lion pour vaincre ton mal ;tout le monde içi pense à toiet à tes parents je t'embrasse très fort MARIE:=))
Salut Josh,
C'est avec beaucoup d'interet que je lis ton blog et je suis certain qu'avec ton attitude positive tu vas écraser l'ennemi. Je sais que tu es bien entouré avec beaucoup d'amour et toute la famille concentre son énergie pour combattre ces mutations intempestives. On pense tous à toi.
I love you man.
Big hugs and Kisses to you and Amélie from us all
Jean-Paul
Lyne
Sophie
Emilie
Garde cette adresse de côté pour plus tard : http://www.les-boules.blogspot.com/
Christophe Mangelle a 27 ans et traverse la même épreuve que toi. Il a écrit un livre qui l'aide à tenir. Tu auras peut-être envie d'y jeter un oeil un jour.
bisou!
Hey Josh,
I'm glad you are writing. You're a great writer and you have many astute observations. I remember an email you sent me a few months ago about the music you had heard. It was quite on the mark. Write and they shall read!
My thoughts are with you each day.
el jefe
Josh,
I am so sorry. I had some problems with peripheral neuropathy. Alternating cold and hot hand baths, and a big bowl of warm rice to put your hand in are very very helpful. They not only helped diminish the pain, but they are nicely distracting. I would put in hair pins, or small animals, and see if I could fish them out without looking. It's surprisingly hard. The many rice kernels on your hand seem to flood the nervous system, and for me, it blocked out other pain some. Heating up the rice a little also made things more interesting. It also seemed to keep the nerves I had working hard. I really think the "practice" of all that stimulation helped them recover. I only had 6% of my nerve function left in my right hand, and it has recovered almost completely. For nausea, I was very helped by candied ginger in my pregnancies.
Otherwise, I think of you often, and am sending you good energy and prayers...
All my best, Annie
this is a horribly wonderful blog: i hope that it helps you as much as you are helping us by writing it. love and beavers.
Josh, we (Jen, Kevin and 22 month old Connor) are thinking of you every day and sending you a mammoth abundance of strength and courage and wellness vibes.
Also, at the risk of sounding trivial, I have had these little tiny Guatemalan trouble dolls that come in a little tiny box, since high school. There is an ancient theory that if one holds a trouble doll at night and tells it their troubles and makes a wish, the trouble will be gone and the wisher's wish will come true in the morning. Up until present, I have told the trouble dolls my troubles and wishes (with great success). Know that every night before bed, I sit in the dark and hold a trouble doll tightly, for you and make a wish for your good health.
Peace, love and health, Jen
Josh, we want you to know that our thoughts are with you,... to give additional strenght in these times when hope and dispair occupy your mind. Remember that you are young and strong and will fight to win against these untimely winds which bring so much suffering for you, your parents and those who appreciate you. Our love to you.
Edgar and Beatriz
I am sending some cool and refreshing bay air down your way . . . . oh and if you have internet access, with the holidays coming up, I highly recommend creating an amazon.com wishlist with the silliest, serious and most fun items you can search for. Plus it's just fun to get a package.
Love and thoughts to you and all the cousins from Jess
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