sleep

the day passed so slowly, tucked between my groin and my liver. any change in orientation threatens upheaval, and every position attained is as unsatisfying as the last.

i felt two seconds of tingling in my right fingertips, just enough to scare me. peripheral neuropathy on its way? i may need to get back to painting and drawing my ultra-precision psychedelia while i still can.

we decided that today was going to have to be a day between just the two of us, which really was mostly to give amelie a break, because i am so incommunicado that she ends up having to do the entertaining if there is anyone else around. while it was nice to be alone, finally, the two of us, lack of sleep plus lack of comfort made for a vague and frustrating day for me, one that i will be happy to avoid repeating. activity is necessary for sanity. reading. writing. cooking, guitar. painting. whatever. life must have goals besides surviving, even if they are short term and inconsequential.

we slurped down some chinese medicinal soup made by a friend's mother, which was exactly what i needed to be eating. what is it, anyway, about chicken soup? bring on the voodoo, man, i'll take all i can get.

at around 9pm i couldnt handle it anymore, and took an ambien to check out for the evening. i've been in a semi-dream state ever since, which is lovely since for some reason i am not in pain or discomfort for the first time in ??! either my body is getting it's shit back together, or this is the perfect drug cocktail.