i get told a lot that this experience will one day make me a better doctor, and i am even starting to believe it.
all of a sudden i feel a lot of sympathy for old people. for the first time in my life, i feel like i really can understand. the similarities are stunning: constant dependence on others; discomfort that will not go away; feeling like there are things that i used to do that are no longer possible, that who i was no longer exists; distrust of my own body; complaining all the time; boredom; uselessness; feeling like the world is going on without me; constant use of drugs that have unpleasant side effects; doctors who might be trying to help, but really can't make you feel all the way better; insomnia; hearing problems; isolation; emptiness; loss of identity, and gaining a new identity: that of "being sick".
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3 comments:
Astute and sensitive observation, but I think you're missing something. n my mind, the worst part about getting old is the same as the worst part about getting diagnosed with a degenerative disorder. When one has legitimate hope for long-term improvement, enduring dependence is made possible by the thoughts or return to independence. But to be aging or sickening in a way that you know you have a one-way ticket to worse, that's when life becomes demoralizing. So, so long as you have reason to expect an upward swing in your future, it's hard to fully understand what it's like to grow old. Anyway, the whole thing makes me glad that the people who have to deal with getting old are all old, and for the most part have the experience, wisdom, perspective, and coping mechanisms to handle getting old. :)
Best, Rebecca
amen. well put.
I too once suddenly developed a deep awe and respect for age... I started looking at people and realizing, they are ambulant libraries, databases of memories... In any case, that's what I feel being in med school. They're trying to turn me into an encyclopedia, a human MRI machine!!! I just came here to read your blog, to check up on you, and say hello. Now I feel guilty now for sitting once in the backyard of some party at Jamie's co-op, Fish House, and smoking a spliff with you.. thinking, where are the vaporizers when you need 'em??? xoxox
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