every positive event seems like an accomplishment, something to take note of and value and cherish.
after a day of compazine/reglan induced hyperkinesia, tinnitus, and general craziness, i had a fabulous night filled with friends and love. jake, florence, paula, jehangeer, neil and jessica, caleb and coco came over, and flooded me with distraction, which is the only solace. i am happy to be active when i can, not only to move but to DO. we all walked to fatburger where i had three fries and a sip of lemonade-iced tea. tonight was the first night that i have tried getting high, and it was really a great decision. i was scared that it would put me in a bad head-space, but it allowed me to relax, to talk with people, to laugh my ass off, to introspect.
this is what i imagine it is like being pregnant: one is miserable, for a defined period of time that is not alterable, and yet the end result is something deeply desired (in this case, being done with it all and getting back to reality).
maybe the best description i have come up with so far is this: imagine that you are SUPER constipated, and you just KNOW that once you let things go, the whole outlook on everything will change, but until then, every moment of waiting, there is a gigantic distraction to rationality that is omnipresent. but this plug-up is going to last a while. the discomfort is so big that at every moment i need to find a way to occupy myself with some task. i must develop many different ways of coping. meditation. painting. guitar. yoga. dancing.
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4 comments:
Yo, cuz', I feel your pain. I was pregnant for a while, too. But it passed like yesterday's burrito al pastor (now I've got a nice, florid, five-month old Burrito Al Pastor. But we're thinking of changing his name to Thomas so he can avoid being made fun of. It's just to bad he still oozes hot sauce everywhere).
I'm heading down there this afternoon; I'll give you a call tonight or tomorrow! (Is your cell on, or do you have Paulette's number?) --ZN
Yo!
As I said, Mom read this post, explained the dynamics of drugs and nausea, suggested the best drug we all know, and sent out a note to the listserve for good head people. We'll see what comes.
Today, I took the same walk we took exactly four years ago. Lovely.
bonjour Josh c'est Claire,Pablo et Guite de Campan. Mme Franck nous a appris que tu avais un problème de santé. on pense trés fort à toi et on espére de tout coeur que tu te rétabliras au plus vite. ici tout se passe bien, j'ai arrêté l'université, manque de place au concours final. je prend des cours de musique à Tarbes pour devenir professeur de solfège,le reste de la semaine je travaille au collège de bagnères en tant que surveillante, ce job m'amuse beaucoup, il y a pas mal d'histoire entre élèves surtout concernant les couples!!! comme tu le sais, ce genre de situation me convient,plus j'en sais plus je suis ravie!!!
sinon, on attend la neige avec impatiente, elle a commencé à tomber mais pas encore à la station donc on est contraint de laisser encore un peu les skis à la maison!!!
mes parents partent ce soir direction nord est de la france: Alsace!!! ils vont participer à un concours avec les chiens, seule ma mère aura le stress ce week end car mon père tient le rôle de coach pour ce concours!!!! elle joue la selection pour la coupe de france, il faut croiser les doigts jusqu'à lundi!!!
en attendant de recevoir de tes nouvelles toute la famille te fais de grosses bises amitiés à tes parents
Guess you won't be needing brownies after all...which is good because they might be hard to eat considering you ate an entire 3 fries and a sip of lemonade. If you aren't careful you may get fat. Thinking about you all the time. Hope that today is good to you. Happy Thanksgiving.
~ Carla
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