round 3

i slide slowly once again from almost-normalcy into the chemically-induced hazy, woozy, uncomfortable, time-warping, personality-distoring state. mercifully, i have little specific memory of how this was the last time around. my brain hasn't been very efficient at remembering much of anything. then again, it all comes as a kind of vague surprise each time.

the big news: my tumor markers are falling along the half-life curves! let me explain: my tumor secretes a couple of different compounds into the blood which allows us to follow its status. everything in our blood - red blood cells, hormones, etc. - has a "half-life", which is a fancy way of measuring how long something circulates around before getting broken down and excreted. my markers have fallen at a rate that indicates that they are no longer being produced at all. now we have biochemical evidence that backs up the observation that my belly is shrinking. the chemo is working!

while this is great news, it doesn't change anything in terms of the treatment plan. we are still going to smash away until the end of february, to improve the chances of having killed it all. i can't say that i am looking forward to it, but i am incredibly relieved that things are on the right track. when the oncological team comes by each morning to do rounds, they have little to say, which is a very good sign. "feeling OK?" "yep." "great. everything is looking good! any questions?" "nope!" "OK, see you tomorrow!"

i am thrilled to say that i am going to get a much-needed break from LA. i got lucky in terms of timing: the next cycle is a different chemo regimen, and it happens to be one that is given routinely at most cancer centers, as opposed to the highly specialized regimen i have been on up until now. we have set things up so that i can do the next cycle at stanford, which allows me to spend the holidays at home in palo alto. i will be heading north this sunday, recuperating over the following week in the comfort of home. on the 25th, i will start treatment as an outpatient at stanford for thee week, and then have another week to recover before heading back to LA and beginning again as an inpatient at norris. this is a good thing from top to bottom. i get to have a change of scene and routine, feel like i am having some sort of holiday, catch up with bay area friends, spend time with my parents. amelie will be heading home to paris, which will give her a much-needed break from the daily stress of dealing with all of this drama.

correction, for the record: the financial situation is not as bad as i made it out to be a few entries back, though it remains ridiculous. there is a $3500 cap on out-of-pocket expenses for the school year, but this does not include psychiatric/psychological services, which have their own $3500 cap, nor does it include medication, which has no cap and a ludicrous co-pay system. one question that remains: does chemo count as a medical expense, or as a pharmaceutical expense? this stuff can't be cheap.